What can I say about my most precious possession? Well, I must say that what defines a precious possession is the feeling of cherising it.
Bearing this in mind, you may be thinking which things do I “value” most? Maybe your friends, your parents, perhaps your girlfriend; even your dog. But let me explain that of those I’ve mentioned, I must choose a friendship.
A true friend is to be considered something important in our lives. It is a person who takes care of you, a person who may know all your secrets and also your weaknesses; that’s a reason why a person trusts their own friends. In many cases friendship is based on the foundations of loyalty and confidence.
Well, in my case I have a lot of friends that fit in the description above, but I want to talk about one of them in particular; for me he’s one of the closest friends that I have, he’s particularly fun, he always agrees with my decisions, he knows the things that I particularly enjoy to do, and of course he always is around with me.
At this point you should have guessed what I’m talking about, yes of course, I’m talking about my car, and you probably wonder: who the hell in this world dares to make that kind of statement?
Well I must answer that I’m that person, and why? Because my car is one of the things that I value so much, to me it isn’t just a car, it’s my¡ car it’s the vehicle that carries me every place that I want, it never complains, it hasn’t betrayed me, and it’s fun to drive. For example: when I’m under stress or maybe when I’m bored, he always cheers me up, how? Well, for me there aren’t many things that I really enjoy doing, such as driving my car.
I really enjoy driving it while I’m listening to music, going fast and being able to control it, it’s an experience that makes me smile, so as you can realize, I’m the kind of person that prefers to drive rather than walk, that reminds me when a very close friend told me that my car was an extension of my feet, he said that it was easier that I hit someone while I’m walking than driving.
I’ve chosen my car as my treasure, my most precious possession as a material thing that I value so much, my life would never be the same if my car were stolen. I would even say that many people think the same as I do maybe because we were accustomed to our cars and when you lose a thing that means a lot to you, perhaps you feel that something is missing in your life.
I CONSIDER THAT I DESERVE A TOTAL OF 15 POINTS
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21 comentarios:
Hi Vanzetti,
I liked what you wrote. The only suggestion I have for you is that the opening paragraph could be more interesting. At first I thought that you were actually talking about a person, I think it was very interesting and surprising when you started talking about your car, it definitely helped to understand the idea of a valued possession. Congratulations for your work.
HI Vanzetti:
As Araon told you, I think the same way, you start very direct to describe your treausure which is very well structure, bur may be you should give an introduction to catch the attention of the reader...
bye good luck
I like your story because it surprised me... I thought you were talking about a person not an object. I also think that you may do an introduction to catch the reader's attention.
Hi Vanzetti: I get a little confused when you talk about your car and not about a person, but I like, it has a good organization, and you make us see why it is your most valuable possession, so in general I like, good work.
Hello Vanzetti!!!!
Your composition is interesting because you gave a special focus to the description of your most treasured possesion, you wrote an interesting introduction that at first I think that doesn't have a relashion with the topic and then I realice that all was the same. Good job.
Hi Vanzetti! You really surprised me! because while I was reading I was thinking about a person not about you car! hahaha. I think tou did a good job!
Vanzetti
I think that the introduction is good, strong enough but when you start talking about your car it became a little disappointed because don’t match with the rest of the article. If it was your intention good for you but if not, maybe you should change the introduction and then we will know what you are going to talk about.
Hi Vans:
It was interesting to know about your treasure and the only thing is that you could have made it more interesting at the begining
Nice job!!!
Robert
Hi Vanz.
Your composition is good. Your introductory paragraph can be better, but it's okay.
At the begining I wouldn't imagine your possesion will be your car, it's interesting the way you change to write about friendship and your car. Your arguments were well stated.
Hi Vanz:
I like your work, but I think the beggining could be better, in general it´s good.
I really thought you were talkjing about a person, but it was a nice surprice, ha,ha.
Good job.
Hey there, I liked the way you started talking about the real value of friendship, but I didn't expect you were finshing talking about your car. Your composition has a good use of vocabulary, and is well structured. In this part "would even say that many people think the same as I do maybe because we were accustomed to our cars" I think it would be better saying "we were used to our cars".
I think that your possession also can be of value for my. That is good, greetings
Hey Vanz, I liked your story but you should write a better introduction so you feel dragged to read more, your composition is well organized and is very good
Hi Vanz.
I think that your composition is goodbut the introductory paragraph could be better. It's interesting to read about your car he he.
Hi Vanz.
Good composition, I think a lot of us can relate to it somehow. I like how you intentionaly misslead us in thinking you were not even going to talk about an object.
Not many mistakes.
Hello Vanzatti
Very creative text. For the descrption of your friend I thought you were talking about a person, but the sudden change is very imaginative and gives the reader a reason to keep reading. Just check in the first paragraph when you talk about valuable things. Who are you talking about? reader or you ?. I think the whole text is fine and well writen.
Hi Vanz!
Your story is amazing because I never suspect that you were talking about your car. Your text is well organized and you interest the reader to keep reading in each paragraph. Excellent job!
Hello Vanzetti
Good idea to open with a question as the teacher said, I am agree with you about the friendship maybe is difficult to have a real friend, I recommend you to separate the ideas but in generally is a good article
Hi Vanzetti
Your composition is interesting, maybe you should use other opening paragraph to catch the attention of the reader, but it's different because i thought you were talking about a person and moreless I got shock when I read that your friend and most precious possesion is your car.
I think it's ok your composition
Hi Van
I liked your intro as I really thought you were talking about a friend of yours. Thies detail would assure readers to go on until they finish to read it.
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